Stars in the Sky- have you found your star?

This is my star which i hold on dearly...

Whenever i feel things come down way too heavy than what i can bear, i will always use this verse to remind me.



The song that i will never fail tearing, though she doesnt get the pitch and notes all right, neither the lyrics pronounce the best anyone can do but hey, i think she captivated me =)

Isn't God amazing?



The Lord's prayer, though she can't recite the whole thing without asking her mum, but she is still beautiful!

You know something?
i think i was really glad that i went for service today though i felt really tired..
It wasn't about anything but to feel Him so near is an awesome feeling!

If you wondering am i going to preach here? I am not! =)

I am feeling thankful though,

I thank Him for placing me in CHC ( yes, if you are not liking this already, it is okay =) )
for making me who i am..

For all you guys know, i personally suffers panic attacks too. I hate being in the crowd of people whom i don't know, i don't like sitting with people whom i don't know, the more you should be crazy to ask me to introduce myself or interact with them.

However, as years goes by in CHC, there is near to no way you can remain always at the back scene. I also suffers from poor self-esteem, I am always very conscience with what i wear, do, eat and behave because i am very sensitive to how people thought about me. ( Till this very day, it is still a struggle, getting better but definitely not gone yet.)

Let me share with you a peek into my past,
In the past, there WERE such thing as make- up cellgroups which you attend when you can't make it for your own. When it comes to introduction, i can never "survive" through after 3 words of, "My name is..." by then i will be crying already! That is how afraid i will get when facing strangers. During testimony, no matter how much i want to share the testimony, i will always end up crying while sharing, because i can't stand people all looking at me.

Yes, if you are reading this, knowing who i am now and wondering," Are you sure that is JASMINE LIM SHU FEN?" Lo and behold yes! Though i am as loud as i can be when comes to fellowship, cellgroup meetings, leading games, testimony, offerings and sometime to do introduction, that is still who i am.

Like what Pst Kong does, i do it too. Before i get in position, i will first take deep breaths, look into Melissa's eyes and my leader's eyes for assurance, whisper " God help me okay?" then smile and speak at the top of my voice =) Sometimes i will also use laughter to cover up. That is my trick =) Especially when coming to playing the guitar, that was the hardest step of my life! If it wasn't for Dorcas, i don't think i will actually play guitar for my cellgroup now neither will i continue guitar. Being a guitarist is hard, being a guitarist with panic attacks are WORSE! With all eyes on you, sometimes with the tiny winy mistakes or offbeat you can get even more attention.

I remember after the very first time playing for the cellgroup, i made mistakes, almost gave up on the spot but i played till the end but no one is perfect, while i felt lousy playing offbeat and wrong key, some were laughing, though i know it wasn't their intention to laugh at me but i was truly affected. When Dorcas ask me to play for the following week, i told her, " Dorcas, i don't think i am up for it, can i don't play?" While waiting for her reply, i was just reflecting while i felt something speaking to me that, " is that what you want? the purpose for you to literally starve to save up for a guitar till your dad buying it for you is for this? To give up? Just like that?" I was expecting Dorcas to reply okay. (Thank goodness she did not reply) I then decided, "no i am not going to give up." So i told Dorcas in another message, " Hi Dorcas, please ignore my previous message, i want to play =) Can you please let me know the songs?" The next moment, she replied me with the songs. Within like 5 mins i guess? while she took 10mins to NOT even reply my previous one..

God is really good to me =)
More testimonies coming up =) hope i don't scare all of you too much =)
LOVES~